We were created to work as a team. Marriage is the best example, and when things are good, life just couldn't be better! Even so, abuse can rear its ugly head. Friends, family members, and brothers and sisters in Christ suffer in abusive marriages, and we seek help from our brothers and sisters in Christ. We try to lean on The Loving Counselor in what we say, and do our best to help our loved ones, but very often we miss the mark. We can actually do damage and increase the suffering! I pray to always be protected from this.
Today, I found an author that speaks to this issue, Elisabeth Cocoran. She tells it straight about what to say and what not to say to a woman in an abusive situation. I feel very strongly the need to also extend this excellent advice to men who may come to you for help. There is no question, men also suffer in abusive relationships. The heart of the matter is that we should never do any harm when we try to help another, when we are led to offer assitance.
If you have a loved one in this situation, please read the following articles by Elisabeth Corcoran, from where the quotes below have come.
What Not to Say to a Woman in an Abusive Marriage, by Elisabeth Corcoran
What You Should Say to a Woman in an Abusive Marriage, by Elisabeth Corcoran
"You must picture working with an abused woman as if you’re putting together a puzzle, while walking through a field of landmines. Say the wrong thing and you can set her back five years in her healing. Say the right thing and you can help set her free. This is not a one-size-fits all situation. Each marriage is unique. Each pain needs to be heard and taken in and empathized with."
"Being in an abusive or addiction-filled marriage can be terrifying and emotionally paralyzing. It can take years and a multitude of incidents to even acknowledge and begin to believe your reality is as difficult and sad as it is. So to read the words of people who heard and understood and stood up for these women in their most vulnerable time brings me great hope."
Please visit Elisabeth Corcoran at crosswalk.com for more helpful and Christ-centered focus in matters of the heart, family relationships and the nature of woman.